Artist Review: Stone Mob

Review by: Justyn Brodsky


Attention to all persistent beer drinkers and pot smokers: I’ve found your new favorite band.

If Metalocalypse didn’t already exist, then Stone Mob would be Adult Swim’s headlining band. And I seriously mean that. These guys are pure in-your-face Shred n’ Roll from start to finish, and will leave you almost transformed mentally after hearing (and watching) these guys play.

First and foremost, these guys would be a great touring act alongside Green Jelly. That was one of my first thoughts. But looking beyond the surface of Stone Mob‘s gritty and comedic forefront, you’d be surprised of the critical acclaim these dudes have. Including their guitarist, Blaine Kaltman AKA “Shred Master General” appearing in several articles of Guitar World and many other known platforms. And for good reason, because this guy does not shy away from shredding your face off with his relentless 80’s/early 90’s fingertapping and scale chops. We get smooth bass lines from Wil “Mr. Creative” David that parallels beautifully with drummer Andy Hamburger, and a vocal/image crossbreed of Mike Patton, Jello Biafra, and Andrew W.K. from vocalist Doug “Earthdog” Masterson.

Also, if you want the full rollercoaster ride of what Stone Mob offers, I highly suggest to watch the official music videos for any of their songs. But even with their music alone, they have great production value, very fun gang-vocals, and a buffet of guitar shreds. This is a band that definitely aims the middle finger at the industry, and god bless them for that.

With their track “Guaranteed (Betty)”, you’re definitely guaranteed a fun time. With a catchy riff and hilarious video concept, we get a fun take on the daily concept of trying to attract women. And with the affirmation of the pop of a champagne bottle, this video and lyrical content accomplishes just that. I must say that the underwater-camera-view of Kaltman was my favorite part though. Regardless, this video is a mess load of fun, as is the song itself as well.

Moving on to the gritty and gorey animated video for their song “Requiem”, we get more of an introduction of the band members. Whether it’s cutting someone in half with a chainsaw or ramming a guitar through a body, there’s no better way to make an entrance. And I’m not saying that sarcastically. Once again we get the same awesome formula of the previous song, plugin and rock out. The animation is witty, bloody, and definitely pays homage to the band members and those who work with the band. Once again, prepare to have your face shredded off.

With lyric video for “Natalia”, we get a good lesson for the ladies: never breakup with a musician. Cause chances are we’re gonna write about it, and even put your name right in the title. And that’s exactly what this is. I wanted to give a standing ovation for this, because instead of delivering the message poetically and ominously, Stone Mob throws the bitch under the bus. And again, god bless them for that.

I really, really love these guys. They’re not trying to be superstars, but are still getting some massive critical acclaim. These guys are playing music because it’s actually fun. No trends are followed, no bling is worn, and nothing is held back. On a few beers and bong hits especially, this is the ultimate band to listen to (and watch!).

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